Alright, let me share with you a very simple process to being happy:
1. Locate your nearest tropical morning market. This one will do:
2. Next, you need to browse through the hundreds of fruit stands until you find the most perfect looking golden pineapples. NOTE: You should be able to stand about 3 feet away and your nose will fill with the sweetest, fruitiest scent you've ever encountered. They should look more or less like these:
3. Next, let the vendor kindly skin the pineapple for you. He will take out a huge butcher knife and start shaving off the outermost layer of the pineapple and cut off the top and bottom (which he does for free and with a smile!), revealing the delicious fruit inside.
4. Now, you will need a knife so that you can cut the pineapple into bite-sized chunks. You can skip this step if you've been living in your home for longer than 3 days and already have a knife. But where to buy a knife? Fortunately, your local morning market also has a knife vendor, how convenient! Let him demonstrate the quality of his knives on a coconut so that you know it will glide through your pineapple:
5. Take the pineapple home and turn on your air conditioner. Sit in front of your computer watching TV shows or movies while you cut into the pineapple. If it's not the most delicious fruit you've ever tasted in your life, you've screwed up step 2. Fortunately, since you only spent $2 on that pineapple, you can find another without breaking the bank.
6. After you've had your fill of the greatest pineapple you've ever tasted (mine had no acidity and tasted like a caramel apple) you'll probably be tired. You should go back to bed:
I guarantee that if you follow these simple steps, you simply can't be unhappy. Feel free to modify this procedure to include watermelon, guava, honeydew, apple roses, bananas or any other fruit you enjoy. The crucial parts are the freshness and ripeness of the fruit, the air conditioner, and a comfy bed. Good luck!
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